Bumble’s relationship pros explain how to get over the house that stole your heart.
You had such big dreams for the two of you. You were ready to make the big commitment. You thought you’d grow old together.
But then your offer on the house didn’t go through. You lost out. You won’t be buying that perfect-for-you place. You won’t be cooking in the all-white modern farmhouse-style kitchen or planting roses in the lushly sodded and fenced yard. You’re no better off than when you started, in the same digs you wanted to leave last year. When you lose out on a house you wanted, the heartbreak is real. It’s the real estate version of being ghosted right when you started scouting honeymoon spots.
Bumble, the social networking app that connects people across dating, friendship, and professional networking, shared insight on how to deal with heartache—and all of its many symptoms—when the house that was supposed to be ‘The One’ turns out to be just another listing.
Symptom: Your head (and friends) know it was “just” a house, but your heart huuuuuurts.
Solution: Go and feel all your feels.
Don’t hold that nasty stuff in. Don’t pretend it’s NBD. Let yourself feel everything, says Bumble—the disappointment, frustration, and the empty feeling of wondering what might have been. Cry it out. Scream it out. Find a punching bag and take it out. You’re mourning a lost dream. It’s legit. It’s OK to lie in a fetal position and tearfully binge-watch House Hunters. Or The Hulk. You do you.
Symptom: Can’t. Stop. Refreshing. Listing.
Solution: Take some me time.
Do the one thing you wanted to do in your relationship, but didn’t, says Bumble. When you were house hunting, did you save every spare dollar for your down payment? And never leave town in case you missed a great listing or the chance to make an offer?
It’s time for a getaway. Treat yourself. You will get a house that’s perfect for you at some point, but you need to get out of your head for a minute. Remember: when one door closes, another opens—and it’ll stay propped until you’re back from your weekend away with a few mojitos.
Symptom: You accidentally keep driving by.
Solution: Stay away from reminders.
Don’t drive by the house to see if it’s marked pending or if a moving van is in the driveway. Don’t even drive by the neighborhood or that awesome little coffee shop that was just down the street where you had already imagined yourself lounging on weekends with an espresso con Panna. And take it out of your Favorites on Trulia so you don’t see it every time you log on. You don’t want to obsess over what might have been.
Symptom: You realize life before the house dream…kind of sucked.
Solution: Restock your life with people
Let’s be real for a minute and recognize that it was just one house (too soon?). Sometimes we attach ourselves to any dream that feels like a needed change. So change your world in another way. Call your friends. Reconnect with old ones. Meet (gasp!) new people. Step outside of your comfort zone and try meeting a new friend at the gym, a painting class, or through a friendly conversation on Bumble BFF. And here’s one new type of person you need to get to know: Trulia’s Premiere Agents are 2.5 times more likely to close on a home than other agents. They’ll help you figure out which houses to swipe right on, and get you on the path to the perfect home for you—whenever you’re good and ready. No rush!